A day before he came to pick her up last week I had a talk with him about needing to step up as a parent. That he is putting his job and other things ahead of his time with his daughter. And of course, he blew up. But in the end, it seemed like he understood what I was saying. The next day he had the nerve to ask me if we would leave Presley here with him so she could live with him. Really? 24 hours after I told you that you're sleeping on the job, you ask us a question like that? His main reasoning that he gave me was that I would be taking her away from her families. My family, Mark's family, and even Nick's own family have been nothing but encouraging. They have all personally told me that this is a wonderful opportunity for us and that they think Presley would be better off with us than with Nick. Even his own parents. And then he had the guts to ask me what I was doing that day(a Thursday) in which I told him we were having my brother over for dinner because it was his birthday. He asked what we were doing the next day and I told him we were leaving for Nebraska. When I asked him why, he told me that he had errands to run and wanted to see if I would keep her so he could do that. Really?! If you can't even take your daughter with you to run errands, how am I supposed to trust you to be reliable enough to take care of her all the time? It just seemed ridiculous to me.
We told Nick yesterday that we accepted the job in Nebraska and that we'd be leaving with Presley after Christmas. His response? Not saying a single word. All he did was ask Presley if she was ready to go and left. I text him yesterday about Presley's sore throat and received no response once again. I text him this morning and asked him how she was and his answer "She's fine". It's so discouraging that he won't speak with me whatsoever. If he would just have one conversation with me, maybe I could tell him all of the reasons that I think Presley would be better off with us. Instead, I get the silent treatment. Literally. And we've morphed back to junior high. To him, all this is is me taking his daughter away. So I'll make my list here and hope that some day he'll be willing to talk and I'll have this ready.
- A girl should be with her mother. Coming from a split family myself, living with my mother was the best choice for me. There are things that my father could have never understood about me or known what to do as far as I was concerned because I was a female.
- He's not reliable to begin with.
There are countless times over the last three years that he hasn't been there for her. He hasn't helped us pay half of her doctors bills like he had originally promised. Mark is the one who has taken out health insurance on her. More than 50% of the time that he is supposed to keep her he is either late, or he cancels on her or changes the plans. When she was an infant he got too drunk at a party to meet us at the hospital when I had to rush her in. There was one week that he had the entire weekend off and instead of keeping her(because he already kept her Monday and Tuesday) his girlfriend came into town and stayed with him because it was his roommates birthday and they wanted to celebrate with her. What seems like the priority there? Only three days after telling him that I didn't think it was right to introduce her to his new girlfriend, she was in town and he wanted to introduce them. It was supposed to be his day. I refused. I don't ask him to do too many things, but waiting to introduce the two of them was the one thing that I did ask and he almost immediately ignored my requests. So he told me that he would come by later in the night and pick Presley up after his girlfriend was gone. Once again, you are losing valuable time with your daughter. Where are those priorities? One week he had her for three hours before he called and asked to bring her home. Apparently his roommates dad was having bypass surgery in Dallas and he had to be there with her so she wouldn't be alone. He didn't see her again for another week. Once again, where did his priorities lie? - He has two other children that he has yet to even meet.
According to him, there's a chance that these twin girls could not be his so he is waiting to take a paternity test before he even meets them. His parents have met them and know without a doubt that they are his. He keeps saying that he doesn't have the money to have the paternity test taken but he has a new car and just recently bought another iPhone when his pooped out. - Presley prefers it with us.
Almost every time it is time for her to go with her dad, she gets upset. She always begs us not to make her go and cries. She is constantly telling us that she doesn't like her dad and she wants to stay with us all the time. Whenever he shows up and rings the doorbell or knocks on the door, she hides and we always have to coax her out of her hiding place and talk her into putting on her shoes and getting ready to go. He is normally here for at least 15 minutes while we try to get her ready to go. Even though all that's normally lacking is her to put on her shoes. - This is what our daughter is used to.
The most she has ever stayed with Nick is three days a week. We have her the majority of the time. We take her to church. We take her to the doctor. We purchase her medicine. We have checked into schooling options for her and dance classes. We took her to the fair this year and just do more things with her in general. - There would be great things for her there as well as us.
The church provides a preschool and we could have private schooling for her for free up there because we are employees of the church. There are more children there that are the same age as her than any other age group in the town.
If for no other reason, I think her saying that she'd rather live with us should be enough. All in all, we as parents, both sets, should do what makes our daughter happy and what we think is best for her and I think that is being with us. We've offered to give him whatever visitation schedule he wants before she starts school and to split the holidays with him like we've always done. We aren't moving across the sea or a million miles away.. we will be two states over. Seven hours. And we've even offered to meet him half way when he wants to keep her. I've just reached the end of my rope and I have no idea what to do.
